- Location:Definitely not at work. 'Cause that would be wrong.
- Music:Take On Me
Dear Diary,
Today was the big Election Day that everyone has been moaning about for months, and after the debacle that was my last attempt to vote, I decided to play things a little more carefully this time around. I accompanied my companion to the local voting station without announcing my presence to the menacing polling attendants (one of whom had the gall to ask my companion if her mother knows she is cohabitating with a gentleman friend! Obviously I have spent a considerable amount of energy in holding my tongue on this very subject, but some topics simply aren't to be discussed in polite society. Like liposuction. Or sado masochism. But I digress). As my companion prepared to fill in her ballot I began my subtle, covert campaign to manipulate her vote. I had given this a lot of thought. She'd never see it coming.
"Vote for McCain," I said.
"No," she said.
"DO IT," I said.
"NO," she said.
Clearly a different tactic was in order.
"Lovely weather today," I said.
"Hm." she answered, filling in a scantron bubble.
"Oh! I know! Why don't you vote for McCain?" I said.
"Why don't you get back in my purse?" she said.
"Why don't you vote for McCain?" I said.
And then she stuffed me into her purse. Insufferable woman.
~SchizoCat
Thank the merciful gods, it looks as though the autumn has finally arrived, bringing with it my sanity. If you had told me one year ago that there are places on this earth that can be as hot as the sun I would have scoffed to be sure. That was before I visited Florida. In June. (One can only imagine how much worse the conditions become in July and August. I expect one's skin simply melts right off of the body or else the body simply spontaneously combusts.)
My companion and her manpanion were sent to Florida on "business"—I suspect this was the consequence of having done something stupendously wrong at work—and I of course was forced to accompany them. Not believing a week to be enough time to thoroughly “enjoy” a place where lizards bigger than I am cling to every surface, they decided to go early so they could seek out the very hottest part of the state! Our destination: Key West.
- Location:Home Again
- Location:New and improved less uncomfy couch
- Music:"Human" - The Killers
Now that the weather has turned warmer, it seemed like a perfect excuse to spend a weekend on Cape Cod. Saturday night I explored the nightlife in Provincetown (no photos for you—don’t ask, don’t tell). Sunday I awoke to a glorious day and headed for the beach with my companion and her manpanion.
- Location:My happy place
- Location:Couch of Pain
- Location:under a fuzzy blanket
Last week was deadline week at my companion's office, so I decided to come lend some moral support.
What terrifying creatures journalists are when under pressure! Like rabid wildebeests, the whole lot of them! I spent a considerable amount of the day hiding out in a pocket for fear I'd be sacrificed to the deadline gods.
Also, while exploring the office I tumbled into one of the recycling bins. I came to the conclusion that it is not red, hot American blood that runs through the journalist's veins but pure and simple caffeine. This really can't be healthy.
~SchizoCat
- Location:Out of the Office
- Location:in my imagination
Like the early explorers, SchizoCat and I braved the New Hampshire wilderness this weekend in search of...actually I have no idea what we were doing there. Hiking I guess. It was warm and...naturey. As SchizoCat put it, "What the HELL is with all these trees?! Make them stop looking at me!!!"
Yes. Well.
~Project Slacker Boston correspondent
- Location:back in the city
I don't really remember this night, but I have brief flashes of a large Scottish man and hot wings.
~Mikolka
- Location:Gutter
- Mood:
dirty
Seriously. How much do we love the '80s?
- Location:In the '80s
- Music:most awesomest theme EVAH!
I've been putting off this entry for some time, but I feel that posterity needs to know the great suffering I have had to endure in the name of Project: Slacker. The tale is not pretty, not dignified, but it is the truth, and what more can you ask of me than that I should be wholly honest in all matters I relate to you?
- Location:desk of doom
- Mood:
apathetic
Behold, the final leg of our journey: Philadelphia! The Cradle of Liberty. The City of Brotherly Love. Uh...the city that Tom Hanks won an Oscar for?
We walked by Independence Hall but didn’t go in. There were a bunch of school children swarmed like locust out front and, as you may know, I detest children of all kinds. Filthy, noisy beasts with bad manners, worse skin, and the social skills of a pack of inbred hyenas. I hope they all grow up to be tax auditors.
We opted instead to pay a visit to the slightly less-crowded Liberty Bell. I received no more than a curious glance when I was discovered during a purse search. If they had any inkling of my past they never would have let me through the door. The bell itself was somewhat underwhelming, much smaller than I’d expected and cracked to boot! However, I think the man guarding it was actually Mr. Benjamin Franklin. I always suspected the government had perfected the art of cryogenics ages ago—now I have proof! Or I would have if he hadn't moved out of shot at the last minute. Curses! Foiled again! You've not seen the last of me, Mr. Franklin, oh no!
This last picture I was 100% against. Love, indeed! Bah, humbug! I feel about love much the way I feel about school children and Corgis. I may have felt differently once, but that was a long, long time ago. I’m older now. Wiser. Besides, as much as it broke my heart at the time, Hillary chose Bill. If dueling was legal in this country she might still be mine. But I digress.
And so this brings me to the end of my vacation photos. New memories were made; old memories were stirred up; possibly someone else’s beer was consumed. I hate road trips. And New Jersey.
That is all.~SchizoCat
- Location:Couch of Comfortlessness
- Music:She Sells Sanctuary - The Cult
SchizoCat enjoyed our first stop, the Air & Space Center. I got a picture of him with the Enterprise. We argued for 30 minutes over it. He said it wasn't the Enterprise, that if it was, William Shatner or Patrick Stewart would be around. I explained the concept of television and sci-fi but even though he was nodding by the end, it was in that humor-the-crazy-lady way and every time he referred to the shuttle he would say "Enterprise" like it had air quotes around it.
The next day we met up with our pal ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
jlrpuck who took us to the best British store in America! We bought Curly Wurlys, and SchizoCat posed for a shot with the phone box. He professed his undying love for all things British—except Corgis, which he said have forever tarnished the good reputation of her supreme loveliness the Queen.
We finished off the evening with drinks and dinner. I thought SchizoCat was being well behaved but it turned out he'd gotten into
jlrpuck's beer and had simply passed out halfway through the meal. Whatever. At least he was quiet.~Project: Slacker Boston Correspondent
- Location:Sofa of Supreme Solidness
- Music:Acceptable in the 80s - Calvin Harris
bscotchpuma has had me locked up and it took my companion some time to locate me. But now I am back and ready to share more photos with you!Now then, where was I?
Oh. Right. New Jersey.
Being in New Jersey is like being in an opium den with the cast of the Sopranos and the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland. But stranger and with more buildings shaped like elephants.
That's all the more I wish to say on the subject of the Garden State.
~SchizoCat
- Location:Free at last!
- Location:next to my cat
SchizoCat didn't quite know what to make of this Western-themed casino in Atlantic City, although he had very clear thoughts on the buffet we ate at. "Crass" and "completely devoid of dignity" were a few of his adjectives, also "indicating such grossness of mind as precludes delicacy and discrimination," which I believe he stole directly from a dictionary. I did however catch him chortling at the dessert bar, which was called "Remember the A la mode," though later he completely denied being amused.
After lunch we took a walk along the boardwalk and out onto the beach, which was lovely and sandy and covered in beautiful broken shells. As SchizoCat put it, "Such soft serenity after the madness and depravity of the soul-sucking casino is like a cool balm to my aching heart." He tends to get a little melodramatic, but I am actually inclined to agree with him on this one.
~Project!Slacker Boston Correspondent
- Location:The great Monopoly board of life
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